Another Scan – Cleft & Palate

March 31 – Late Posting

We were in two minds, one part of it was already prepared for Abortion and the other was dependant on what the First Plastic Surgeon would say.

We still did not have a proper 3D pic of the Nose & Cleft of the baby. I suggested Vanitha for another Scan, so that the Plastic Surgeon can give me a final word having the proper information with him – She was already fedup  all these Scans.

We had two Scanning Centers in Mind, One the Srinivasa Scanning Centre in Shankarmutt Road, couple of Vanitha’s friend suggested this place and I know for sure that this was among the best places to have your scan done. The place used to be my Van Stop for three years during my school days and even I had got one scan done long long time back.

The Other option was with the Clinic of ‘PV’ she is the Head of the Department of the Radiology in the same Hospital where our Plastic Surgeon operates. I thought this would be ideal as they both can communicate the case in detail. Why Clinic and not Hospital? – She was available in the hospital for very little time and rush and appointment there would be next to impossible.

We tried to take the appointment with her – a day before we met the Plastic Surgeon – No Appointment Sorry was the answer from the receptionist there. I explained her the situation and told her why this was so important, but she in turn explained me that she was already fully occupied with various appointment and there is absolutely no room for another scan.

Sharing the News

March 30 Late Posting

We did not share this news with anyone except Ashwini – that is the advantage of being an psychologist you get to hear the news first from your friends :) Vanitha spoke to her and I even took her to her home that eve just to relax and calm down.

It was now time to break the news to our parents. We assembled in the living room. I showed the reports and tell them about the deformity and the various opinions given by the Plastic Surgeons, Radiologist, Gynecologist and our Family Gynecologist. They were very disappointed but tried hard not to bring it on their body language.

They asked me what was my views. I told them I would again meet the Plastic Surgeon whom I met first – the one with more than two decades of experience and then make a decision.  

Well they would ended the conversation saying that the “Final Decision Would be Yours” and they also told “don’t pressurize Vanitha, let her decision be final”

Meeting Plastic Surgeon – Second Opinion

March 29 – Late Posting

Next day we went to the Hospital where our Family Gynecologist visits. She had taken an appointment for us for the Plastic Surgeon there. We were there on time ( Like always ) and again we went through the Registration Process, filing the form and receiving a card.

We were waiting in the main reception for the Plastic Surgeon to come. About 30 min later the Doc came, looked pretty young and very young compared to our Old Doc.  He took us to a cabin inside.

We showed him the reports and explained him what the Radiologist told about the baby. He was not the sugar coated bitter pill types. He said in one sentence – “If I was the Parent of this baby – I would get it aborted” – wait come again did I just hear it right?? man that was too straight forward for our comfort.

Again shaken Vanitha had tears, The Plastic Surgeon-Hospital of Good Repute and his personal opinion would be to abort – this was too much for her. Doc sent another comment like an arrow in an already punctured heart, he said “It’s better you cry now rather than you and the baby crying all life”. he explained further. “This the the most severe in case of Cleft & Palate, you guys are young, you can always have another baby, this baby’s surgery no surgeon can give you 100% assurance”, hmm “no assurance on the scars no assurance on the shape of the nose, no assurance on the Nasal Voice”

We thanked him and then took leave from there, called my family Gyn and told her will visit her clinic and discuss, she said she was in hospital only and told to come imd and meet her. She was very curious to know what happen. I told what the Doc said, she was shocked initially, even spoke to the Plastic Surgeon over the phone and discussed the case.

She said everything in one clever sentence – she said “The Plastic Surgeon has made your decision easier” – slowly my mind was starting to accept the fate, starting to accept the reality. She further tried her level best to console- by then weeping Vanitha. She talked about cases where in both the parent and child had to suffer all life.

But Common those cases she spoke were about the Physical Deformity and Mental Challenges. How can you abort a child just because the child will not be good looking having scars on the face and may be nasal voice. Are we not expecting too much from the baby?? are we not threatening the baby? either you come out handsome and beautiful or Iam gonna kill you”  On the other hand we did not want our baby to face it, we did not want the baby to have social problems, we did not want the baby to be ashamed of her / himself.

At once what the Doc told made sense and in the other hand what I thought also made sense, more question raised and the most important one – Will I take life of a baby because it may have an lil deformed face??

We decided to share this news and first with our Parents – I called them and said wanted to meet them at 5 PM, a bit shattered  and a lot confused.

I told Vanitha – lets calm things down, lets go for a movie, have food outside, go the mall. It sounded all funny, but then It would be impossible to remain silent, I just did not want to think anything about what the Doc said till eve. We went to the Forum Mall – it looked very empty, movie – well we still start thinking about the baby, restaurant – we decided to go Gramin for Lunch. Seated there Vanitha made a startling discovery – When we came to know she was pregnant, we went there and after that only today we went back to that Restaurant.

Opinion from our Family Gyn

March 28 – Late Posting

We decided to meet our family Gynecologist, we called and confirmed the appointment and visited her Clinic (travelled for an hour). Had to get down the car and push the bikes aside to make way.

We showed her the reports and said that we have a week to make a decision. They said that the Bilateral Cleft and Bilateral Palate can be operated but she repeated the same words that our Gynecologist had told “it is the Plastic Surgeon who can guide you better since they are the ones who will perform the surgeries”.

She also told us to give the baby a chance, a chance to live but also warned us about the difficulties of feeding and taking care. I dunno where these Doc learn to sugar coat the bitter advice. While ending the conversation she said “If the baby survives for 3 months then you get it operated”.I was taken back a little, said we will feel very bad it that happens, she replied “you will feel bad even now if you get it aborted, at least give the baby a chance”

But she told to consult the Plastic Surgeon to the Hospital where she visits, It is also one among the best in Bangalore, She even helped us to take an appointment with the Doc there. Again confused we left with our reports, there were more questions than before and hardly any answers.

Opinion from the Plastic Surgeon

March 27 – late Postings

We decided to meet the best Plastic Surgeon “Ar” referred by our Doc.  We did what ever research possible. But sadly there is no referral system nor does anyone put their reviews about the Docs. He is available for only two days in a week and all the other days he is busy in surgery. I knew many Doc visits hospitals for few days and other days at other hospitals or their own clinic, so the cunning me called his clinic and re checked, but it was true – he actually consulted only 2 days in a week and rest of the days in surgery. I interpreted that as “must be so good that he is called for so many surgeries”

We were not given appointment so we agreed to wait and while we waited I had to get the registration done for Vanitha. It was already late but we could not complain, we had no choice. We finally met him only to find that he was already late for a surgery.

He sounded very  confident and very friendly, he said there is nothing to worry and the same can be handled. He also said that he had to speak to our radiologist who did the scan and understand the extent from him.

He again told us to relax and assured us that Bilateral Cleft and Bilateral Palate is not such a huge deal as we are making it to be. He told us not to worry & just relax.

Meeting the Gyn – Cleft & Palate

March 26 – Late Posting

We decided to meet our Gynecologist with the news, we did not take any appointments, we just went there first – even before she came.

She came, they called us in, She was going through the Anomaly Scan Report, we were trying to explain her but she started with a note that Dr. Pradeep and Dr. Amitha spoke to me about the Bilateral Cleft and Palate.

She advised us that the feeding position for the baby would be different as they baby has to depend on the gravity to keep the milk down and make sure it does not touch the palate. She also told us that the Surgeries would be done in 3rd month and we should consult Plastic Surgeons on this as they would be the right person to guide us on this.

I just burped out with great great difficulty something I could not dare to talk the this topic, but I had to be practical, I had to take care of Vanitha and make decisions and assists in making decisions, I asked our Gyn – If we think otherwise, can we do it?, do we still have time to abort the baby?

Vanitha again could not control her tears while I had to gulp it down and look into the eye of our Doc to seek answers, she said you have a week to make a decision on this (maintaining a stern face) Think about it and let me know….

We left the Cabin Confused, Sad, Clueless and sort of Helpless

Defying Moment – Cleft & Palate

March 25 Late Posting

We scheduled for the Follow up Scan with Dr. Pradeep, the same got postponed for couple of days, however the third day we were there on time.

Last time when we did the scan with Dr. Amitha we had not collected the report, so this time I requested the reception that the report would be required by Dr. Pradeep. They refused to handover as it was not signed yet, however once the nurse told the report was required for reference, they gave it to us.

Waiting outside the Radiology Department I opened the unsigned report and was trying to make some sense out of it just then Vanitha pointed at a particular page – where it was written Bilateral Cleft Lip and Possible Palate

Inside we were greeted with both Dr. Ashwini and Dr. Pradeep, they started their scan and Dr. Pradeep confirmed that it was Bilateral Cleft Lip and Bilateral Palate, I wish could go back in time and change what I told her, I had assured that:-

  • Unilateral Cleft Lip – ok
  • Bilateral Palate – still ok
  • Bilateral Cleft and Unilateral Palate – Little Problem
  • Bilateral Cleft and Bilateral Palate – Big Problem

I should have just kept my mouth shut, now vanitha did not know how to react, she was totally totally depressed and till now we had not shared this with anyone and we were not able to handle this. I could not do anything, I had not planned I would come across anything like this, and I had no template in me console her for anything like this.

Doc then gave the Final Blow to make us just sulk our head and weep – looking thorough the 3D Scan, he said that the baby also had a Disfigured nose.

This was it, the ground was shaking she would look at me – her eyes would ask Questions – Why Pavan, Why me, Why us, Why our Baby, and I had no answer, I just had no answer, I could not even look into her eyes, coz I had the same questions.

Consoling Vanitha

March 24 – Late Posting

Dr. Amitha did the Anomaly Scan, she said the baby has a Cleft – this was enough to bring down tears for Vanitha. She never expected to hear this. Even while Doc was doing the scan the tears would not stop. The Doc tried to console her saying that she too has a Unilateral Cleft and she still looks so beautiful and there is nothing to worry.

But it was lot emotional for Vanitha, she has a Cleft Lip and did not expect the baby to have one also.

However while Vanitha was getting her dress re-arranged Dr. Amitha told that baby has a Bilateral Cleft Lip to have a follow up scan with Dr. Pradeep to recheck the finding and especially about possible Palate – Vanitha did not listen to the ‘Bilateral Cleft Lip’

Back home and the whole of the next two days I told Vanitha that on my online research I find that Unilateral & Bilateral Cleft is not an issues at all , what could have been the worse is Unilateral Palate or Bilateral Palate. I was trying to make sure that when she comes to know that baby has Bilateral Cleft she should not feel depressed but be happy that it is not the extreme.

Published in:  on March 24, 2009 at 10:38 AM Leave a Comment
Tags: ,

Baby has a Cleft Lip

March 23 – Late Posting

Could not update on whole lot of things, so here is how the hectic days were.

“….We had our Anomaly Scan, everything thing was fine, the hands, the Legs, Fingers, Kidneys, Lungs, Heart Beats – Perfectly Fine. We also came to know about something, this I will keep it as secret :) Will reveal this surprise only when the baby is born, but we are happy that baby is healthy…”

The Surprise that I was talking about Anomaly Scan is that the Baby had a Cleft Lip

8th Ante-Natal – Follow Up

March 22 2009

This Ante-Natal Class was taken by Dr. Prabha Krishna, The Class was on the “Post Partum myths and realities” and was very interactive. We could not interact much coz we were not aware of any such Myths, infact we were not aware of anything about Post Partum – but still got some doubts cleared.

Please Note :  All information on this blog is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.

You do not Bath take bath for a week or so

False – Not taking bath may actually increase the chance of getting infections, You can actually take bath if you can stand upright – probably next day or two

You wear three layers of clothing + sweaters + Cotton in your ears, mufflers & Scarf ( even in summers )

False – Not at all required, it infact increases sweat and that may cause rashes, you should wear what you are comfortable with and not multilayered

You should not resort to your normal diet for a month

False – Your digestion or digestive system is not affected by Pregnancy, you can eat your normal diet ( the one you had pre pregnancy ) after pregnancy also

You should not eat Banana, Papaya, Pineapple etc

False – all these are no proved to cause any harm just reduce gas causing foods like Chana, Potato or Cabbage ( gas may cause some distress ), rest everything is fine, any food in normal quantity causes no problem

After Pregnancy you take complete bed rest for about a month

False – You should start walking around in a day or two (or when you can stand upright & walk ), start walking around in your room and then start your normal life, Lying down makes it worse

You should not exercise for atleast 6 months after delivery

False – you can start exercise in case of normal delivery 4 weeks and in case of C-section after 4 months & Pelvic exercise as soon as possible

Tying belt around waist helps to reduce your tummy

False – Please don’t tie, it does not help and in case of C-section avoid at all cost. It has taken 9 months for your tummy to reach that stage with a slow day to day expansion, you cannot expect the tummy come back to normal in a week. In normal circumstances it takes about 6 months for your tummy come back to the normal size and do regular exercise.

Tying belt is tightly around your waist does not hurt your body even in C-section

False – It does hurt and may also affect the healing process, during C Section, the Skin takes 7 days to heal, Abdominal Tissues take 6 months to heal and the Bladded 2 Years to heal

There is no Milk Production and I have already given birth

Nothing to worry – The milk production starts only after 48 hrs after delivery and the baby can take care of itself for two days – nothing to worry

What can I eat to increase Milk Production

There is nothing that increase the milk production, your body produces milk based on stimulus. If you keep you baby next to you and have maximum skin to skin contact the body will get the msg and milk will be produced

One should not drink water a lot

False – In fact you should have minimum of 2.5 Lts of water. your baby will consumer at least 500 ml of milk, it is important to have proper water intake, not having proper water intake can actually cause urinary infection and also reduce breast milk.

There were few more topics that were discussed but I could recollect only these, overall many myth and realities were cleared and lot of knowledge gained.

So next time if someone tells you to do something or tells you to avoid, ask them the reason behind it and don’t follow something blindly.